By Annette Sanfilippo
Weddings today are fast becoming the events that dreams are made of. Real fairytales (ahem, Taylor and Travis), with real happenings.
Organising a wedding these days is no mean feat. You almost need a degree in the subjects of event management, finance, marketing, and even psychology. Gone are the days when you could predict how the day was going to pan out as a guest. The new wave of wedding etiquette has arrived, and these highly-produced events are rewriting bridal culture and couture from the moment you receive the ‘Save the Date’.
No longer do we have a set of preplanned guidelines and traditions that fit within the industry and businesses that bring this special day to life. Couples are taking charge and insisting on setting their own template, so saying ‘I Do’, is how they want to do it!
Weddings are exclusive, fashionable affairs and are extending beyond the day itself, often a three-day package, sometimes a whole week! From the bridal shower, hens and buck nights, shopping trips, rehearsals and fittings, your calendar will be overflowing in the lead up to the momentous day. Couples are creating journeys and writing themselves, (and you), into a story of fun, drama, spectacle, and excitement all neatly tied up in surrounds that fit with their personality, history and aesthetics.
Carefully curated functions immerse guests into a wonderland where locations hold intimacy and special memory. It seems that built-in, breathtaking backdrops are a prerequisite. Think old stone buildings with enchanted gardens, rustic farms with barns found at the end of a sweet, floral-lined winding road or forest destinations canopied by lush branches to form the alter. So much thought is going into capturing the ceremony in a unique and bespoke manner.
Even decorations are playing a new role. The element of surprise is something couples want guests to anticipate.
Colour palettes, festoon lighting, food displays, florals and sundry décor all take centre stage and double up in non-traditional ways taking guests on culinary adventures with maximalist moments and unexpected twists and turns. Food has moved rank from being served to fill time until the next moment on the schedule to star of the show, and music has become a symphony to set the scene. Band stages are being replaced by spontaneous saxophone solos, group singalongs, and special guest appearances.
No longer is the cake standing alone on a white tablecloth. Couples are sharing interactive duties of spreading cream layers on part-prepared desserts, tossing berries on pastry cakes and finishing presentations with dusting icing sugar together. Champagne towers have made an entertaining comeback, set off by the couples filling the sparkling stack of stemware in an impromptu manner for all to enjoy.
From personalised cocktails to suit the theme or personalities, wedding favours to gift and entertain, and even artists sketching guests in their attire throughout the event, it’s hard not to get excited about an upcoming nuptial. They are full of artistry and emotion with every detail intentional.
Where it can get a little tense is when you receive a mood board along with the invite instructing you what to wear or what not to wear. It may read, no patterns please, block colours only, neutral beachy tones, or a touch of sparkle. Social media is driving a trend to create the perfect wedding ambience so photos, video and the surrounds look uniform, coordinated and thoroughly Insta-worthy. Sometimes guests are asked not to share photos or to share any taken using a QR code, sending them all to an online album to be censored.
Many of our expected wedding experiences are being omitted or modernised to align with the current climate or political mindsets. If you delve into some of the origins it’s no wonder we want to nuance traditions to suit our modern world.
The bouquet toss stems from 14th-century England and Europe. Guests believed touching or tearing off a piece of the bride’s dress brought good luck. To escape this, brides began tossing their bouquets as a distraction so they could make a safe getaway. By the 1800s, this practice evolved into a softer ritual meant to pass on “good fortune” to the single women in attendance. These days, that bouquet is open to anyone to catch! And let’s not talk about the garter removal and toss. <shudder>
Gender equality is another big reason many traditions have changed. Brides no longer feel the need to veil themselves to be revealed to their partners. Instead, long, sheer lace trimmed mantilla style headpieces frame their faces and swathe over their dresses, often carrying a signature detail such as embroidered initials of a loved one or a family heirloom.
If you delve into some of the origins it’s no wonder we want to nuance traditions to suit our modern world
Carrying traditional flowers such as roses or calla lillies are often replaced with whimsical dried florals, decorative brooch posies, pretty pouch bags or lush greenery. Rings have become bespoke and non-traditional in styling reflecting originality, and vows, though still deeply meaningful, are light-hearted and a bit more relaxed. Move over dad! These days anyone can walk down the aisle with the intended. How about a flower granny?
‘Love is love’, and it’s so much about that feeling today more than ever before. The time has come for the opinions of others to be pushed aside and to forget the timeline and enjoy. It’s your special day so ‘do you’ without any judgement.
Though not every couple chooses to walk down the aisle these days one thing is for sure, the ones that do, ranging from traditional to unique and unpredictable, are full of excitement and joy. We are very lucky to have some of the most amazing locations, venues and suppliers here on the Mornington Peninsula and I’m sure they are ready to inspire and help create and personalise the big day to perfection.
If you get a chance, take a look back into the history of some other wedding traditions; you may get a bit of shock with some of their origins. My favourite is wearing our rings on the fourth finger on the left hand. Do you know why? Oh, and that poetic verse about something blue…I simply love it.
Cheers to all who are about to say ‘I Do’!
Fashionably yours,
Annette